Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
