the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
