I am in a vortex of obligation.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
