Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
They are going to name an STD after you.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
