I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
