You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
