dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
