it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
