I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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