somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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