Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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