Christians are straight up FREAKS
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
