Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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