That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
