Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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