super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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