remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
You ate ashes out of my bong
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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