i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
