Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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