3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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