can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize