So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
someone owes me an orgasm
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.