I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI