flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.