do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."