apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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