my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
