Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
