I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
They are going to name an STD after you.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
