Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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