he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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