take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
