Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
