why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
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she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
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Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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