I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
