WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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