no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
