I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
