Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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