Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
