I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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