it was like his penis was on wheels.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
