I wish i was in the wii world.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
