I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
