Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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