So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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