marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
