What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
