There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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