I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
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i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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