last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You're a waste of cheezeits
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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