Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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