omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
