I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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