THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
