i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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